bElng mysElf

  another year end ~ im kind of sad why didnt the mayan prediction come true ~ at least i know i'll die happily ~ thank you 2012  for the hate that will always be there ~ for the memories and blessing i send to you only ~ for my first time experience of skydiving, backpacking ~ and solo trip again ~ and i did my first 'uncomplete' night marathon ~ i live for myself ~ for all the fun, joy and sadness ~ back to school studying ~ the stress the burden the unwillingness soul ~ in between i make some new friends ~ but along the pathway ~   i lost some close friends ~ isnt this what everyone will experience ~ i laught to myself ~  for a broken heart to ment ~ this is very tough ~ a few tried to make me smile ~ but it seems kind of fake ~ till this heart conquer brain ~ i tried to love again ~ thank you 2012 for this both eventful and uneventful year ~ i do hope 2013 will make me a better and happier person and yea

 If I am lost for a day; try to find me  But if I don't come back, then I won't look behind me  All of the things that I thought were so easy Just got harder and harder each day  December is darkest and June is the light but this empty bedroom won't make anything right While out on the landing a friend I forgot to send home  Who waits up for me all through the night  Calendar girl who's in love with the world Stay alive  Calendar Girl who's in love with the world Stay alive I dreamed I was dying; as I so often do And when I awoke I was sure it was true I ran to the window; threw my head to the sky  And said whoever is up there,please don't let me die But I can't live forever,I can't always be  One day I'll be sand on a beach by a sea  The pages keep turning, I'll mark off each day with a cross  And I'll laugh about all that we've lost  Calendar Girl who is lost to the world Stay Alive  Calendar Girl who

  sometimes i wonder  can one's happiness be so simple ~ yet so complicated ~  sometimes its just hard to let your heart  conquer your brain ~

做了怎样的决定，就要承担怎样的后果。 =)

有一天你会明白，善良比聪明更难。 聪明是一种天赋，而善良是一种选择!    我曾经是个善良的人但是这个世界的丑恶改变了我! 我只不过是想保护我自己,不受到欺负!  根本也没有任何要伤害别人的意思。  这世界太丑恶了!

going into my 6th year of marathon with SC !!!  to end this year 2012 with a bang ~ i managed to keep below 3.5hrs for my half marathon ~ i was so energetic and hyper =p my legs wasnt feeling cramp perhaps till the last few km ~ haha, i guess that's my best timing overall  *still feeling shameful about the other timings* no idea why, dont ask me!  i've nv train at all till 2 days before SC ~ all thanks to the person who 'force' me to jog then ~ or maybe the 2 bananas i ate this morning helps =p  p/s: looking into angkor wat marathon next year!!! any takers? =)

记得你是 女 孩子，你难过，就哭，狠狠的哭。 午夜梦回，随你便，然后再忘记你是 女 孩，站在太阳下，就要懂得什么是坚强。

maybe its time ~ time to give up ~ im so tired ~

first week of school ~ information overload ~ tired ~ stress ~ hungry ~ dozing ~ non-receptive ~ inferior  ~ sense of loss ~ anxious ~ fearful ~  depressed ~ and lastly psychatris ~  

    once in a while ~ do you have that urge to drop everything ~ and elope away with someone ~ to somewhere which no ones know ~ to somewhere that only belongs to the both of you ~

im not a hard core gadget fan ~ and yes im a nuts for gadget ~ i totally need a guidebook for my nexus ~ this is how bad i am ~ i was torn between a kindle & nexus ~ but at last i choose nexus ~ for almost the same price ~ i get a better specs in nexus compare to kindle ~ so why not ~ but i still believe both of them have their own pros and cons ~ personally i dont really care about the camera, as i know my iphone is still gd to use ~ but a front cam from the nexus do benefit occasionally =p i love the size of the nexus ~ it fits perfectly into my small hangbag when i hate carry big bags sometimes ~ its easy to hold and carry ~ oh did i mention its really light too ~ nexus may not be good as compare to kindle's antiglare polarization display ~ afterall, kindle is an ebook reader ~ im satisfy with just a HD display ~ performance wise, it has been ultra fast in switching app or turning it on ~ thanks to the jelly beans androi

没有把我的生日日期放上, 是因为我不想让自己提起伤心事！ 也不想让太多人知道 ~ 但我很高兴还有好朋友能记得 ~ 也要谢谢大家 ~ 不需要任何礼物或张扬的庆祝 ~ 一个小小的祝福就让我很开心了 ~  还在等的简讯或许不可能传来了~ 我还是想问一下自己， 今天的我笑了吗？

all I want to do for this whole week is to grab a book ~  sit in a quiet corner at a cafe & be immersed in the pages of another world ~ or do some people watching wondering the complex mind of a human being ~ the past month had been pretty hectic and devasted ~ i bet i've mention a million times in my twitter that i hate august ~ so a breather will defintely be a welcome respite ~

im so glad august is ending!!! freaking hell HATE AUGUST!!!!! i wish august never ever exist at all!!!!

一個人久了，對愛情會越挑剔； 一個人久了，會變得比戀愛時成熟； 一個人久了，朋友會約重要； 一個人久了，會越來越喜歡聽歌； 一個人久了，對節日大多沒啥期待； 一個人久了，因為怕傷害，懶得去戀愛，懶得去瞭解人； 一個人久了，會更加愛上旅行。

im in love with this drama ~  this beautiful song ~  and this lyrics which really suits what i wanna say now ~ 停在这里不敢走下去  让悲伤无法上演  下一页你亲手写上的离别 由不得我拒绝  这条路我们走的太匆忙  拥抱着并不真实的欲望  来不及 等不及 回头欣赏  木兰香遮不住伤  不再看天上太阳透过云彩的光  不再找 约定了的天堂  不再叹你说过的人间世事无常  借不到的三寸日光  不再看天上太阳透过云彩的光  不再找 约定了的天堂  不再叹 你说过的人间世事无常  借不到的三寸日光  那天堂是我爱过你的地方

what do you see here? a rather disturbing picture of hands reaching up from hell ~ are they begging for help ? are they trying to escape from hell ? before you taste the sweetness in heaven ~ you will need to experience the torture from hell ~ do you believe in karma ? i do ~  believe in the entire cycle of cause and effect ~ believe in the consequences, actions and reactions ~ believe in one sow goodness, one reap evil ~ and it will slowly creep into you ~ as quote,   like gravity, karma is so basic we often don't even notice it ~ dont look back ~

when was the last time you traveled somewhere that changed who you are and  how you see the world? someone had a very big influence in me 3 years ago ~ a trip to anywhere which i never knew that i could go solo ~ a trlp to anywhere which rules out shopping except sighseeing on the list ~ a trip to anywhere which allows me to understand that country ~ and here i embake on my own second solo trip ~ a country i never know that will be on my bucket list ~ a place where i have never though i will be heading towards ~ a place with no shopping and just sightseeing ~ a place so near yet so far ~ Chiang Mai ~  a beautiful city with over 300 temples ~ p/s: will blog more on it soon =)

i wish nothing but the best for you ~

Happy Independence Day Singapore

Heres to the OT nurses  standing for hours *holding your bladder* ~ all the shouting/running/grabbing for stuffs along the corridor ~ for coiling the wires ~ smelling the fresh shit out from the intestines ~ wiping the testicles ~ holding on to a hugh "assets" ~ for dropping one of the bone used for grafting *ops* ~ inhaling the formalin used to preserve specimen ~  counting gauzes every hour every min ~  for making sure each needle doesnt drop anywhere ~ getting "our eggs" cook once a week ~ dozing off during an op ~ protecting ourselves against infectious case ~   for mopping the floor, cleaning the wall ~ being scolded by the surgeons ~ opening the wrong things ~ dropping the one and only last item ~ neverless whether you are a male or a female ~ working in any departments ~ anywhere in the world ~ as long as you a nurse ~ you will always be one ~ Happy Nurses Day !!!        

a real traveler will be a wonderer, experience travellers joy, temptation and expedition the will ~ right now im heading out to find that joy ~ wish me luck =)

今天我目睹了一对父子情深的画面！ 一个二十一岁的男孩捐了半个肝肠个他的父亲！  而他一清醒的第一句话＂手术成功吗？我父亲还好吗？＂  我眼泪就差点冒了出来！  他，真的让我很敬佩！  我会为你们祈祷的！

不要做个忘恩负义的人！

entering the second half of the year ~ i hope its a good one ~ but just as i though so ~ just met with an accident ~ ya, one and only one accident in spore for me ~ my car backside was kissed ~ lucky thing is, im allright ~ blessing in disguise ~

今天是第七百三十天 ~

  我从来就不是一个难相处的人！  难道话少的人就不被重视吗！  难道话少的人就要丢一旁吗！  难到话少的人就不必说话吗！  有时觉得自己很能变~  在不同人们面前都变的不一样~  哪个才是真正的我？

 他是第一个抱我的男人 ~ 他是第一个听见我哭看见我笑的男人 ~ 他是第一个叫我宝贝的男人 ~ 他是一个我相信他说的承诺都会做到的男人 ~ 他是第一个从我小时后每年的生日都会送我礼物的男人 ~ 他是敢和我说一直会陪我到最后的男人 ~ 他是不管我错对美丑都觉得我是最好最优秀的男人 ~ 我虽然不在你面前说但是你要知道我是爱你的 ~ 爸爸！父亲节到了!

recently have been very crazy over this canto song ~ which is by William Su ~ and the mandarin version is as nice too ~ ~ 那誰~ ~ 破繭 ~ 國語版 分手開始有的失眠 讓眼裡心裡湧出疲倦 模糊的生活少了焦點 總出了神 想之前 太瞭解人生充滿告別 怎麼眷戀也要瀟灑一點 卻還是好奇假如曾妥協 故事結局會有什麼差別 * 從春花到秋月 幸福已瓦解 一顆心在落葉 靈魂被掩滅 發現逃離崩潰的秘訣 是催眠自己痛會被時間給終結 從積雪到雲煙 情緒也融解 愛與恨都不再那麼強烈 朋友問感覺沒有後悔也沒埋怨* 寧可回想浪漫慶典 不耿耿於懷殘酷情節 浮華世界常冷到凝結 只想讓心暖一點 像歷劫重生都已復原 反正那後遺症沒人看見 但一個訊息又輾轉整夜 原來心底傷口好得不完全 Repeat * 就算人的心有幾個結 不表示感動再也不會來面前 一個新明天 一個新愛戀 能變動一切 從春花到秋月 幸福已瓦解 一顆心在落葉 靈魂被掩滅 發現逃離崩潰的秘訣 是催眠自己痛會被時間給終結 從積雪到雲煙 情緒也融解 愛與恨都不再那麼強烈 雖然對感情遲疑會多了一些 但太多美好都得跨出安全範圍 嚮往有雲 仍遼闊的天 就要破繭

the first and the last ~

生日快乐！ 你一定要开心！

剪掉了思念 ~ 剪掉了烦恼~

recently there has been many RTA accident ~ be it either my friends or others ~ fault? sometimes it just doesnt lie on one party ~ no matter how cautious are you on the road,  there is still the 'unlucky' times when your luck was super down! same goes for me, nearing the last day of our nz trlp ~ we had an car accident too ~ the impact to me was so great *even airbag was activated* that i shiver non-stop ~ thank god, we are all safe except i had a contusion on my leg ~ never once had any accident in sgp yet this happen in nz ~ its really an experience =p but all thanks to the kaikuora people who are super friendly and nice ~ they make sure we are fine, called the fire engine, tow truck & ambulance too ~ am also grateful to the kaikuora police officer who send us to pick up our stuffs and also back to our hostel ~ p/s: friends, pls do drive carefully and be safe on the road!

【感谢妈妈】的十月怀胎， 【感谢妈妈】的多年养育， 【感谢妈妈】的嘘寒问暖， 【感谢妈妈】的严加教育！ 【感谢妈妈】的每一顿饭， 【感谢妈妈】的每一件衣， 【感谢妈妈】温情的抚摸， 【感谢妈妈】深切的叮咛， 【感谢妈妈】永远的牵挂， 【感谢妈妈】给我一个家。 祝天下妈妈永远健康美丽!

 三年前的笑容和三年后的笑容以不一样了~  三年前的开心和三年后的开心也不一样了~  三年前的我和三年后的我变了~  三年的变化好可怕啊！

i love the scribble on the balloons ~  its so simple yet so witty ~

i love to look at lakes ~  its so beautiful ~  so crystal clear blue and calm ~  here are some of the lakes i've seen in NZ ~  (photos are taken by your truely) Lake Wakatipu this is the longest lake in NZ ~ it is one of the location for the fliming of Loch Ness & LOTR Diamond Lake its so foggy that i felt im in heaven ~ Lake Tekapo this is the best place to star graze at night! it totally perfect ~ Lake Pukaki its a lake you defintely need to stop and look ~ Te Anau Down our first rainbow ~ you'll never get so much happier seeing a beautiful rainbow ~ Lake Mapourika this is one of my fav lake =) Okarito Lagoo & River this isnt a lake but it's still as beautiful

i dont mind having one friend less ~ its allright, its okie, no big beal ~ this shows you are the childish one ~ not me ~ pls do grow up, ms c !!! thank you ~

height is my fear ~ so skydive is my fear too ~ but skydive is one in a lifetime ~ you dont get to do it often like the jump master ~ so i must not fear ~ and i will permit it to pass over and through me ~ and finally when everything is over ~ i know ~ my achievement doesnt come sweeter than that ~

we walk on land ~ we trek a galcier ~ we go underwater ~ we cruise the sea ~ we fly the sky ~  we even 'bang' other vehicle ~ its a trlp you will never get ~ im missing u right now,nz ~

omg im screaming!!!  skydiving tml!!!  hell lots of fears!

  no fanciful dress ~ no pretty make up ~ no beautiful shoes ~ no bright sunshine ~ no shopping trlp ~ no online shopping ~ no comfortable bed ~ in exchange for ~ squeezy bunks ~ make new friends ~ cook own meals ~ driving everyday ~ magnificent scenery ~ snowy mountains ~ standing at the southern world ~ freezing temperature ~ THIS IS LIFE !!! till we meet again ~

旅行会改变人的气质，让人的目光变的更加长远~ 在旅途中，你能看到不同的人有不同的习惯， 你才能了解到,并不是每个人都按照你的方式在生活~ 这样，人的心胸才会变得更宽广！

  我以为只要认真的喜欢，就可以打动你，原来只是打动了我自己。 如果有一天你走进我心里，你会哭，因为里面全是你。 如果有一天我走进你心里，我也会哭，因为那里没有我。 如果有一天在喧闹的城市里，我们查检而过，我会停住脚步， 凝视着那远去的背影，告诉自己，那个人我乘经爱过！